oregon1 (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} oregon1) wrote,@ 2006-09-29 07:19:00 |
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Of bitches and stitches
For four Wednesdays, starting last night, our great country will witness a harmonic convergence more powerful than any planetary alignment, more significant than the reunion of the remaining Beatles. Yes, on these four Wednesdays the Television Gods have deemed us worthy of new episodes from both "Project Runway" and "America's Next Top Model." Thank Jeebus. Let us pray.
We started off with "Top Model," which followed last week's promising Season 7 premiere with an equally delicious second installment. It's makeover time, where all the girls get new looks and hairstyles handpicked by fashion maven Ms. Tyra Banks. Predictably, some of the girls took issue with their new colors, cuts, or weaves. But not just a couple --- fully half of the girls whined and cried. Melrose was despondent over her bleach blonde, which makes her look 10 times younger. The twins thought their new red colors were a little showy/hard to take care of. A.J. hated the chocolate brown color and the softer cut. Mannish Jaeda, who actually said "cut off all my hair!" early in the episode, bawled when she got a Halle Berry-style crew. And then Monique ended up wailing in the bathroom because they were messing with her weave.
GOD.
Speaking of Monique, girl is giving Season 1's Robin a run for the title of Most Self-Righteous Bitch in "Top Model" History. After her makeover meltdown, Monique also biffed the challenge and missed out on a chance to meet Queen Latifah. Back at the house she took out her frustration by sitting on the phone for three and a half hours (!), even as the other girls repeatedly tried to get in some calls themselves. Finally, Anchal --- sweet, unexpected Anchal --- unloaded a curse-laden tirade on Monique and disconnected the call for her. Cherry on top? Monique then sat holding onto the receiver, flipping through fashion mags as she listened to the operator repeatedly asking her to make another call. Delicious. We hate Monique, which is to say that we love her.
After a particularly dragalicious photo shoot involving insane wigs, it was poor pixieish Megan who was out. I figured her tragic backstory would get her at least a little farther, but in truth Twiggy called it when she pointed out that Megan looked like a washed-up version of Kim from Season 5, right down to being a lesbian.
On another note, expect the twins to win the whole thing. And I'm actually kind of OK with that.
Meanwhile, "Project Runway" added another twist to its already complicated third season as the judges decided that it would not be the final three designers showing collections at Fashion Week, but the final FOUR. I have to say, I honestly suspect this wasn't originally part of the plan, but the producers' hands were tied. Here's my logic: For the Reality Show Formula to work, the Final Two must include both the villain of the piece (in this case Jeffrey, whose talent is often overshadowed by his utter assholishness) and the Scrappy, Deserving Underdog (in this case, Michael, who pretty obviously has this thing in the bag barring a massive fashion misstep a la last year's Daniel V). That left either Laura or Uli to go home in last night's episode. Unfortunately, Laura and Uli both created pretty great dresses, Uli especially (Laura just did her signature embellished cocktail dress with plunging neckline --- beautiful, but we've seen it from her before). And Michael and Jeffrey both botched the assignment, creating two messes of dresses. There's no way the Powers That Be could get rid of either Uli or Laura without looking like total frauds, and there wouldn't be a final showdown without Jeffrey or Michael so...voila. Final Four.
Next week is the reunion show, in which the disgraced Keith Michael basically acts like a petulant child (awesome) and Vincent accuses everyone else of being an amateur, which is just hilarious.
I love Wednesdays!
--- Eric Rezsyak
For four Wednesdays, starting last night, our great country will witness a harmonic convergence more powerful than any planetary alignment, more significant than the reunion of the remaining Beatles. Yes, on these four Wednesdays the Television Gods have deemed us worthy of new episodes from both "Project Runway" and "America's Next Top Model." Thank Jeebus. Let us pray.
We started off with "Top Model," which followed last week's promising Season 7 premiere with an equally delicious second installment. It's makeover time, where all the girls get new looks and hairstyles handpicked by fashion maven Ms. Tyra Banks. Predictably, some of the girls took issue with their new colors, cuts, or weaves. But not just a couple --- fully half of the girls whined and cried. Melrose was despondent over her bleach blonde, which makes her look 10 times younger. The twins thought their new red colors were a little showy/hard to take care of. A.J. hated the chocolate brown color and the softer cut. Mannish Jaeda, who actually said "cut off all my hair!" early in the episode, bawled when she got a Halle Berry-style crew. And then Monique ended up wailing in the bathroom because they were messing with her weave.
GOD.
Speaking of Monique, girl is giving Season 1's Robin a run for the title of Most Self-Righteous Bitch in "Top Model" History. After her makeover meltdown, Monique also biffed the challenge and missed out on a chance to meet Queen Latifah. Back at the house she took out her frustration by sitting on the phone for three and a half hours (!), even as the other girls repeatedly tried to get in some calls themselves. Finally, Anchal --- sweet, unexpected Anchal --- unloaded a curse-laden tirade on Monique and disconnected the call for her. Cherry on top? Monique then sat holding onto the receiver, flipping through fashion mags as she listened to the operator repeatedly asking her to make another call. Delicious. We hate Monique, which is to say that we love her.
After a particularly dragalicious photo shoot involving insane wigs, it was poor pixieish Megan who was out. I figured her tragic backstory would get her at least a little farther, but in truth Twiggy called it when she pointed out that Megan looked like a washed-up version of Kim from Season 5, right down to being a lesbian.
On another note, expect the twins to win the whole thing. And I'm actually kind of OK with that.
Meanwhile, "Project Runway" added another twist to its already complicated third season as the judges decided that it would not be the final three designers showing collections at Fashion Week, but the final FOUR. I have to say, I honestly suspect this wasn't originally part of the plan, but the producers' hands were tied. Here's my logic: For the Reality Show Formula to work, the Final Two must include both the villain of the piece (in this case Jeffrey, whose talent is often overshadowed by his utter assholishness) and the Scrappy, Deserving Underdog (in this case, Michael, who pretty obviously has this thing in the bag barring a massive fashion misstep a la last year's Daniel V). That left either Laura or Uli to go home in last night's episode. Unfortunately, Laura and Uli both created pretty great dresses, Uli especially (Laura just did her signature embellished cocktail dress with plunging neckline --- beautiful, but we've seen it from her before). And Michael and Jeffrey both botched the assignment, creating two messes of dresses. There's no way the Powers That Be could get rid of either Uli or Laura without looking like total frauds, and there wouldn't be a final showdown without Jeffrey or Michael so...voila. Final Four.
Next week is the reunion show, in which the disgraced Keith Michael basically acts like a petulant child (awesome) and Vincent accuses everyone else of being an amateur, which is just hilarious.
I love Wednesdays!
--- Eric Rezsyak
